My Disappointment

Unfulfilled expectations are mostly the major factor of disappointment.

Experiences has taught me not to rely too much on uncontrollable variables. I think it's works. Rarely do I feel disappointed about something these days.

But, it's kinda different on this point. There was a situation where I realized that I was really disappointed. Note: it's not because of the unfulfilled expectations.

We know that present time is the accumulation of events from the past. Our own history.

I've been in the condition when I want to try something, my step has stopped because I realized I am disabled. When a daydream crossed my mind, I refused to do anything to make it happen. I knew it's impossible. Again because I realized I was disabled, physically.

Then, my imperfect childhood memory emerged. I wasn't growing optimally so there were crucial things missing from me, physically and spiritually. That's the reason I declare I am disabled.

I regret for those days, where the knowledge was not as huge as today, where people have an open minded thought and nurtured by many perspectives, which are actually every parent need to maximize the potential of humans they've given a birth. These humans will not forever be children anymore. There will come a time when they become a person, self-owned, independent, and have dreams.

But at least I learn something, that someday, I am determined to prepare an optimal human. The best version of human where in his artery flows my blood.